Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
