I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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