Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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