Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
