I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
