Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
