Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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