Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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