I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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