I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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