I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
