You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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