Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
her vagine was all disorganized.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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