Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
