great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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