bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
