Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
