CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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