Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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