He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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