butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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