he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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