At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
