It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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