Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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