how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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