i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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