that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
