We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
