R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Randomize
