She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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