don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize