is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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