i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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