and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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