Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
