i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
please come you make the beer taste better
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
