omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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