How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
a search helicopter?!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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