so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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