it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize