He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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