Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
