he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
