McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
