I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
