He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
