I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
