I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
