i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
