waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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