I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
