About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
