I love black thongs
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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