i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
