margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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