you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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