just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
