? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
