Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
